Message in a Bottle

Is it ever too late to say what you always needed to hear?

Every once in a while, I come across an exercise that’s surprisingly helpful. Sometimes I will tuck an idea into my toolbox to be repeated on a future day. My recent sixtieth birthday was the perfect opportunity to pull such an exercise out and give it a go.

This week I turned 60. 60. I almost wrote 61 right there. It’s only been a day, and my brain has already moved on to the next milestone … 60? We’ve already done that! What’s next?? … Hold on there. Not so fast. How about we pull the reins back a little on that one, hmmm?

In recent days I have been thinking a lot about the last decade of my life. About how much has changed since 2011, the year I turned 50. Today, I am wondering what the next 10 years will bring. When I am 70, how will I look back on this decade? What will my 70-year-old self have to say to 60-year-old me? Writing myself a letter from that vantage point might be a great exercise. One that would help me be more intentional during the years to come.

As I was about to write that letter, something pulled my attention back to the me of 2011. She was heading into a decade of monumental change. A decade when her world would be turned upside down and inside out. What about sending that letter? A time-traveling message in a bottle, if you will. What did 50-year-old me need to hear that only I could tell her?

Though sharing what transpired on that page takes me beyond my comfort zone, I am deciding to be brave and share it anyway. Maybe someone else needs to hear what I needed to hear. What I still need to be reminded of.

Dear Cathy,

I am so proud of you. When you turned 50, you had no idea what the next 10 years would hold. You don’t know it now, but you’re going to start off this decade with profound loss. The loss of your dearest friend and business partner, Heidi, along with the business that you dreamed of together. It will be unimaginably hard. One of the hardest things you have had to go through. Though it gets ugly at times, hang in there. You will endure it, you will get through it, always with a desire to understand and grow. 

I know you don’t open your heart to just anybody, but your heart is always open to becoming more of who you were born to be. You possess an inner desire to make your life – your days – count. And they do. You can relax a little about that one, okay? Making a difference does not have to feel like an inner tension, forever waiting to be satisfied. Making a difference can mean relaxing into the knowledge that tiny seeds grow big trees. Little things become big things when they are done with love, courage, and consistency.

Making a difference can mean relaxing into the knowledge that tiny seeds grow big trees. Little things become big things when they are done with love, courage, and consistency.

At 50, you are working really hard to be what you think you need to be. And you haven’t a clue how exhausting it is. God will help you unclench your arms, but it will come about by having some precious possessions knocked out of your hands. That will be painful. I’m sorry you have to go through that. But it is necessary if you want to discover what is truly worth holding onto. 

Though some things will fall away, your circle of love will keep growing, for love always grows when you make room for it. You now have four remarkable daughters-in-law, two beautiful granddaughters, and two more grandchildren on the way! It is as good as you imagine it will be. Even better than you could possibly imagine it to be. You have come to understand that connection with others is one of the best gifts worth investing in. And these are among your most precious ones. 

I wish I could tell you that the world has become less complicated, but it is as crazy as ever. (Don’t get me started on what 2020 will hold. You wouldn’t believe it anyway.) But the essential things will ring as true as ever. Love, faith, kindness, generosity, compassion. They are all around if you have eyes to see. And anytime your eyesight starts failing? Just pull out the gratitude journal. The one you began at the start of this decade. It will bring you back to center. Writing down the tiniest of miracles will return you to peace, contentment, and joy.

Thanks for all you have done for me. I am sorry I was so hard on you at times. I am sorry I was impatient with all that you were dealing with. Silently tapping my foot with how long it took to heal and get moving already. I know it wasn’t helpful. You will be glad to know that I have learned to be kinder to myself, which helps me be kind to others. (Though, to be honest, we are still working on that patience thing.)

Did you know that being your own cheerleader makes it easier to be courageous? I am amazed at what I can accomplish with just a little bit of “Good job, Cath! You’ve got this.” No other voice can ever be loud enough to drown out my own doubt and insecurity. It has to come from within. (That’s where God whispers too, so remember this one.) And trust me, all that you need is already there. It’s there. You will discover that in the years to come, and it will make all the difference.

I am excited about the next 10 years, and I owe that to you. (And to the one who is always by our side.) I will do my best to carry forward all that we have learned. Arms open wide, with an expectant, courageous, and grateful heart. No matter what is transpiring outside the window, these things will always ring true. I will remember that. I will strive to always remember that.

Thanks for everything, Cath. Really. Thank you so much. For everything.

❤️ Cath

Have you ever sent a time-traveling message to yourself? If this inspires you to do so, please let me know!